Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

My girlfriend is a stoner who works at a hotel fixing whatever breaks.

She's kind of high maintenance.

- What's the difference between a drug dealer and a homosexual?
- One's crack is in a junkie and the other's junk is in a crack.

Did you hear about the town that legalized pot but banned alcohol?
The residents were left high and dry.

What has 300 legs and 37 teeth?

Waiting room at the meth clinic.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.