Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

Who decided to call it “marijuana possession” …
And not “joint custody?”

I keep telling myself to quit drugs.
Like Im going to listen to a drug addict.

Why did the duck check into rehab?
He was addicted to quack!

Apparently more and more people over 65 are smoking weed these days. Seniors don’t complain about stiff joints any more.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.