Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

The good news is my new years weight loss plans are going great, the bad news is cocaine is expensive.

Why did the duck check into rehab?
He was addicted to quack!

I wrote a limerick about snorting cocaine, where the 3rd and 4th lines are the shortest.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.