Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

Why did the duck check into rehab?
He was addicted to quack!

A friend of mine was a junkie until he found God.

The day he overdosed, of course.

It's called "marijuana possession" because the term "joint custody" was already taken.

That's the last time i call the cocaine addiction help centre.

They told me they were busy and to try another line!

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.