Random junky joke:
- The junkie tried but couldn't quit.
- All of his efforts were in vein.
Weird never felt so funny. - Updated: 2026-01-12.
Selected junky jokes:
I got stopped by a Market Researcher the other day and she said "Do you mind if I ask you 10 quick questions?", so I agreed. She said "Question 1: Have you ever blacked out through too much drugs & alcohol? - I answered "No". She said "And finally Question 10:"
I'm pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It's just that most of them aren't snitches.
A friend of mine was a junkie until he found God.
The day he overdosed, of course.
Did you hear about the junkies who accidentally joined an alt right movement?
Apparently they thought they were signing up to Join For White Powder.
More junky jokes...
What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.
- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.
Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.
I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.
One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.
Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.