Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

You can say what you want about glue sniffers but at least they stick together.

So someone asks a junkie..
Do you still use heroin?
Well.. On the one hand yes, on the other hand no.

I walked into the bank and put a bag of weed on the desk.

The clerk said 'What are you doing?'

I said 'I want to open a joint account'

I have zero tolerance for drugs, so I do get very high.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.