Junkies, addicts and drugs jokes !

What has 300 legs and 37 teeth?

Waiting room at the meth clinic.

I keep telling myself to quit drugs.
Like Im going to listen to a drug addict.

- Did you hear the one about the homeopathic junkie?
- Unfortunately, he died of an underdose.

My girlfriend is a stoner who works at a hotel fixing whatever breaks.

She's kind of high maintenance.

What's drug junkie's favorite videogame?
Need for SPEED.

- What do you call a sad junkie with a lisp?
- Metherable.

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews
Dude was fucking nuts.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...
The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

One in our friend group is supposed to be a dyslexic junkie.
Needles to say it's not me.

Do y'all know how much coke Charlie Sheen did? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

I perform a magic show in which I make marijuana and cocaine disappear.
It's all smoke and mirrors.