Hilarious Feminists' Jokes!

Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 🍿

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

How do you stop a man getting into your home?
Replace the door locks by bra fastenings.

How do you know when a man's had an orgasm?
He snores. 😴

Why is the mens bathroom always on the left?

Because women are always right.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

Do feminist ever say they are MENtally stable ?

Would a female mannequin be a womannequin?

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

"How to date a feminist girl?
Step one: Don't"

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.

After sex dudes always ask did you cum?
Yeah bitch to the wrong house...pass me my damn panties.

For those people concerned that Alexa is listening to your conversations, they’re now bringing out a male version.It doesn’t listen to anything.

How do you tell when a man is lying?
His lips move.

Man: Fancy a quickie?
Woman: As opposed to what?

How can you tell a man is thinking about sex?
He's breathing.

Why do most men have a beer belly?
So that his best friend has a roof over his head.

What's the quickest way of losing unwanted excess fat?
Divorce him.

What's a sure sign a man will be unfaithful?
He has a penis.

How do you know when a man's had an orgasm?
He snores. 😴

Why do men put women on pedastals?
So they can look up their skirts. 😎

How do you stop a man getting into your home?
Replace the door locks by bra fastenings.

How do you stop a man getting into your home?
Replace the door locks by bra fastenings.

There are two times in his life when a man doesn't understand women.
Before marriage, and after marriage. 💍💒

What's a man's idea of a sophisticated cocktail?
A pint of beer with an olive in it. 🍻

If a man and woman both jumped off a high building, who'd land first?
The woman. The man would get lost on the way.

Why are men like toilets?
They're either vacant, engaged, or full of crap.

What do you give a man who has everything?
Penicillin. 💊

Why don't men make ice cubes?
They don't know the recipe. 🧊

Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime, and lots of happy, fat women.

Why is a man like old age?
They both come too soon.

What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?
Slow.

What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man?
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the 40-year-old man thinks often about dating them.

What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

How is a man like the weather?
Nothing can be done to change either one of them. ☁🌡

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes. 👔

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer. 🎁

What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.

Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.

Why are men like blenders?
You need one, but you're not quite sure why. 👌

Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 🍿

Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say. 👨

What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy. 🔗

What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
Castrated.

When is it much better to be a woman than a man?
When you are in the lavatory and the plane hits turbulence. ✈

Why do doctors slap babies' bottoms as soon as they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.

What's the difference between a woman's husband and her boyfriend?
60 minutes.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?
So men can remember them.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any. 😁

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
It depends how thinly you slice them.

An English professor wrote the words,
"Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing." 😁