Hilarious Fart Jokes That Will Make Your Day !

If you're alone and feeling lonely - fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.

What do you do to get a bubble bath after dinner? Just have beans for dinner.

I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.

What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!

My greatest fear is that I lose the power to fart silently.

An average person farts 13 times a day.
Finally i am above average at something.

I thought I was on The Voice this morning

I farted on the bus and four people turned around.

I just won a farting contest.

The judges were blown away.

MY GIRL FRIEND IS SO SHORT WHEN SHE FARTS SHE BLOWS SAND IN HER SHOES.

Usually when I lean in like I’m interested in what you’re saying, I’m actually just farting.

You're not strong until you hold a fart while you're getting head.

I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.

If you're alone and feeling lonely - fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.

Happiness comes from within.

That's why it always feels so good to fart.

FUN Fact:
Farting helps reduce high blood pressure and is good for your health.

The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep...

I'm so broke I have to fart to have a scent in my pocket!

I felt like I was on the voice today!

I farted on the bus and 4 people turned around.

It's very rare that I hope my wife has farted.
But I'm praying that smell coming from the kitchen isn't
my fucking dinner.

Fun fact:
Farting helps reduce high blood pressure and is good for your health.

My wife says after all these year’s I still take her breath away.
Good to know my farts are sill effective!

My wife just sent me a strange text message.

"There's a man on the bus next to me who keeps farting."

I replied, "That's okay. At least he isn't on your bus."

The intimacy of farting in the presence of each other.

How do you know when a moth farts?
it flies in a straight line....

I am the type to fart in a crowded train and get just as upset as everyone else.

Releasing a long silent fart as I walk through first class on the way to my economy seat is definitely my favorite part of boarding an aircraft.

I asked my math coach why she's always passing gas during our lessons.
She said, "Because I'm your tutor."

My wife pointed out when I farted.
It was an ass toot observation.

What do they call it when
a writer farts? A draft.

What does a Stormtrooper say when he farts?
Pew pew pew.

A human fart can be louder than a saxophone solo.
I found that out at my daughters school concert.

I farted in my wallet and now I have gas money.

What would Britney Spears say after, as usual, she let one rip? "Oops, I did it again."

What do you do to get a bubble bath after dinner? Just have beans for dinner.

How do you know a clown farted? It smells funny.

What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
He farted rainbows.

If you sneeze and fart at the same time, your body takes a screenshot.

How does NASA pass gass?
They fart using their ass-teroids.

When is a fart joke acceptable?
When it doesn’t stink!

I used to cough in public to hide my farts, but now I fart in public to hide my coughs.

Why does everyone always think Piglet farted?
He plays with Pooh!

What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!

Why do farts smell?
So that deaf people can enjoy them too.

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and the world stops laughing.

Why is love like a fart?
If you have to force it, it’s probably shit.

What did the menstrual pad write on the “thank you” note to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

Why did the fart miss graduation?
It got expelled.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
She didn’t want the other chickens to notice that she farted.

A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.

I didn’t fart in front of my partner until we got married.
Her family wasn’t too impressed.

I farted at work yesterday, and my coworker opened the window.
It must have been bad — we’re flight attendants.

What do you get when an aristocrat farts?
A noble gas.

I got fired from my job delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.

Farts are like children.
You don’t mind your own, but you can’t stand other people’s.