Funny Squirting Jokes: A Splash of Humor!

Squirt jokes and puns: Quench your thirst for irony.

Squirting: making a mess and feeling blessed.

I don't need a fire hose, I have my own squirting abilities to put out any flames.

I don't always squirt, but when I do, it's like a geyser.

Squirt Jokes meme.
Squirt Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-22.

  1. Dirty Squirt jokes: guaranteed to make you wet your pants.

  2. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

    What happens when your make an asían girl squirt? She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

    What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

    Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

    My parents are having custody battle right now. My mom’s argument to the judge is that she gave birth to me. My dad said...
    I was his little squirt.

    How can you tell if an orange is male or female?
    If it squirts in your eye without warning it's a male. If it's bitter for no fucking reason, it's a female.

  3. Making a squirter splash with clever humor.

  4. What do you call a stripper who also works as a hooker who is known for squirting?
    Krystal Geyser.

    What is it called when a man feels bad for squirting on a woman?

    A man squirts water on his girlfriend’s skirt with a squirting gun.

    His girlfriend starts laughing hysterically, and the man asks why.

    “Well you see, you finally got me wet!”

    What happens if you have sex with a Mcdonalds employee and you make her squirt?
    She charges you 25 cents for extra sauce.

    I walked into my sister squirting herself with a carrot...
    I said "Damn, I was going to eat that but now it tastes like carrot."

  5. Funny Squirt jokes: For jokes that hit the spot every time.

  6. If you think female squirt isn't piss.
    Then Urine for a big surprise.

    I Like Women Who Squirt
    Ketchup all over my french fries.

    What is it called when a girl in the military squirts?
    An honorable discharge.

    Me: “Squirting isn’t real, right? It’s just urine, right?”
    Interviewer: "I meant any questions about the job".

    I found out last night that my new girlfriend is a ‘squirter’.
    That’s the last time we try knife throwing

  7. Squirt jokes: Where dry humor meets a splash of wit.

  8. Sattler's Law: There are 32 points to the compass, meaning that there are 32 directions in which a spoon can squirt grapefruit; yet, the juice almost invariably flies straight into the human eye.

    Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
    A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.

    Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
    A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.

More SQUIRT jokes on the following pages...