Bald Jokes: No hair, don't care!

Making bald the new cool.


I'm not bald, I'm just taller than my hair.

I didn't lose my hair, it's just in a different location now.

I'm not bald, I'm just aerodynamically efficient.

18+ nsfw Adult Jokes meme.
18+ nsfw Adult Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-20.




  1. Bald and Hilarious: A Hair-Raising Experience!


  2. Being a trans-woman is all fun and games until the male-pattern baldness kicks in.


    Some people have wavy hair. Mine waved goodbye.


    Life is about changing perspectives and priorities:
    I used to worry if one of my hairs was out of place, now I don’t care if they both are.


    "One day all this will be yours" my dad said, running his hand over his bald head and explaining the basics of hereditary baldness.


    A bald chap I know never uses keys now. He's lost his locks.



  3. Laughing It Off: Where Bald Jokes Shine!


  4. A bald friend painted rabbits on his head. They look like hares from a distance.


    At this rate, they are soon going to have to Abolish Shampoo so that bald people don't get offended!


    Really discouraging that there's still bald people in sci fi movies.


    I had a boss who was bald. He told me, “The Lord made millions and millions of heads and those he didn’t like he covered up.”


    Somebody asked me when I first noticed I was going bald, and I’m not really sure, off the top of my head…



  5. Bald and Bold: Jokes That Hit the Spot!


  6. Men who are bald in front are great thinkers. Men who are bald in back are great lovers. Men who are completely bald think they are great lovers.


    A bald friend painted rabbits on his head. They look like hares from a distance.


    Buying a wig to cover a bald spot is a small price ....toupee!


    I was telling my friend that I wasn’t having much luck in the girlfriend department.

    He said I should try online dating then I can meet someone just like me.

    I said I didn’t want to date a fat, bald man.


    Women will never be equal to men...
    until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.



  7. Bald and Brilliant: Where Jokes Take Center Stage!


  8. -Hey Bill, what the heck why are you wearing those ugly ass granny panties on your head?

    -Well, John. I’ve seen a lot of hair growth happening for my wife ever since she started wearing these things.


    When I saw an old friend from school, he asked why I was bald. I replied "cancer."
    "Cancer?"

    "Yeah I asked the barber if he could shave my head, and he 'I sure cancer!'"


    I told this girl that people often tell me I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's twin.
    "I don't think so," she laughed, "You're fat, bald, don't work out, and are much too short!"

    "I know.... Danny DeVito."


    I like to play chess with old bald men in the park.
    But it’s kind of hard to find 32 of them.


    Why did the bald guy leave the wig shop without a wig?
    because he forgot toupee.



  9. The Bald Truth: Where Jokes Reign Supreme!


  10. My boyfriend asked me this evening if I would shave my pussy...
    ... He’s going to be royal pissed when he wakes up bald.


    A bald guy killed all the barbers in my town.
    Boy, that was a hair raising tragedy.


    As a bald man, I don't like these jokes about wigs...
    they go over my head.


    What's the difference between a bald englishman and a bald scotsman?
    The englishman buys himself a hat while the scotsman sells his comb.


    I made fun of fat men and I became fat
    I teased the bald men and I became bald. Now I only make fun of the rich.



  11. Bald and Proud: Where Jokes Roam Free!


  12. What is six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
    A hundred dollar bill.


    Mommy, why is daddy bald?
    "Its because he thinks a lot sweetheart"
    The kid stared at his mom for a minute and asked
    "is that why you have a lot of hair?"


    Why did the bald guy cut a hole in his pocket?
    Because he wanted to run his fingers through his hair.


    Getting bald isn't about losing hair, it is about getting more head.


    After years of being bare, the idea of hair doesn't sound too bad. It's starting to grow on me.



  13. Bald and Fearless: Where Jokes Know No Bounds!


  14. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.


    I wouldn't say I was going bald, but... When I asked my barber to cut my hair, he replied, "Which one?"


    My wife is leaving me because I'm going bald. I'm not bothered though. It's hair loss.


    I first noticed I was going bald when it was taking longer to wash my face!


    Doctor, doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in? Yes, here is a paper bag!


  15. The Bald Brigade: Where Jokes Run Wild!


  16. What's the difference between a monkey, an orphan, a prince, and Bald Bill? A monkey has a hairy parent, an orphan has nary a parent, a prince is an heir apparent, and Bald Bill has no hair apparently.


    Don't waste money on hair restorer. Just paint a series of little rabbits on your bald head. From a distance, they look like hares.


    You are so bald, the reflection of your head is blinding people in India.


    Women in my focus group say a bald-headed man is trustworthy. He has nothing to hide.


    You're so bare. I can rub your head to see into the future.




More bald and balding jokes on the following pages...