Twisted Humor: Sick Bastards Jokes for the Bold and Fearless.

Laugh at your own risk!

"I love sick humor because it reminds me that even celebrities can be twisted and messed up too!"

- Oprah Winfrey

Sick Jokes meme.
Sick Jokes meme.

Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated: 2024-07-22.

  1. Laughing on the Edge: Sick Jokes that Push the Limits.

  2. What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order?

    2 Plains.

    There was a leper who failed his driving test...

    for leaving his foot on the gas

    Kenny was into incest until his mom died. Now he’s into necrophilia.

    Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
    Mom: Shut up and keep licking.

    The last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”.

  3. Where Twisted Minds Unite: Sick Jokes for the Fearless Fun.

  4. What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?
    -It makes your sister jealous.

    What happens when your make an asían girl squirt? She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

    I Like Women Who Squirt
    Ketchup all over my french fries.

    I never thought I'd have a fetish for collecting data on people.
    But then I came to my census.

    had a threesome with two anorexic girls last night...
    ... Two birds one stone

  5. Dare to Laugh: Sick Jokes that Defy Expectations.

  6. I had a threesome with two girls. They said they were 28 years old...
    How was I supposed to know they meant combined? They really look like adults, especially the 20-years old.

    I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
    It was wrong on so many levels.

    When is it okay to beat up a dwarf?
    When he's standing next to your girlfriend and telling her that her hair smells nice.

    There was a guy exposing himself in the parking lot the other day, but he was gone in a flash.

    I was gonna fuck this Egyptian chick,..
    But she was on her pyramid, so I fucked her mummy instead.

  7. Unlock Your Dark Side: Sick Jokes for the Wickedly Humorous.

  8. Every time I get out of the shower and look into the mirror, I see an asshole.
    Maybe I should have installed it at eye level.

    My friend has a compulsion of dipping his testicles into glitter.

    Pretty Nuts when you think about it.

    I took a course on sexual harassment last week.
    it went well, I think Im gonna be good at it...

    I've had a vasectomy...
    It didn't work..
    It just changes the colour of the fucking kids.

    The stripper made her son lunch for school today.
    It was hoe made.

  9. No Taboos, Only Laughs: Sick Jokes for the Uninhibited.

  10. What's the best part of a bulimic birthday party?
    ...When the cake jumps out of the stripper.

    I stole a stripper's kid.
    It was like taking baby from a Candi.

    I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn’t have that much breast milk.

    What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
    They both spread for bread.

    Thanks to inflation . I’m so poor I had to milk the dog to feed the cat. You ever tried to milk a Chihuahua those little bastards are mean!

  11. Redefining Comedy: Sick Jokes that Challenge the Norm.

  12. My girlfriend and I had a pregnancy scare misunderstanding.
    Turns out it was her Pet rabbit that died and she has mourning sickness.

    Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.

    Playing billiards... The only instance, where scratching your balls in public is not frowned upon.

    If you currently have a voodoo doll of me
    Please scratch its balls for me, I'm at a meeting and it's really uncomfortable. Thanks.

    So this guy with premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere
    That’s it... that’s the whole fucking joke.

  13. Step into the Shadows: Sick Jokes for the Unapologetically Humorous.

  14. I just read an article about premature ejaculation during masturbation.
    It might come in handy.

    What kind of shoes do kidnapers wear?
    White Vans.

    I just got back from a bulimic disco.
    The place was heaving!

    What do you call 500 epileptics at a disco?
    A foam party!

    How do you know someone is an introvert?
    They won't shut the fuck up about it.

  15. Beyond Inappropriate: Sick Jokes that Will Leave You in Stitches.

  16. I read an article that said to cheer up as adults, we should embrace things we loved as kids.
    So, when I am sad I hide in the shower and try to watch the babysitter pee.

    You can't even be a babysitter these days without someone getting offended.
    And calling you a "home intruder".

    The babysitter didn't realize I was secretly taping her until I put the last piece over her mouth.

    Why was the FBI agent happy after he visited a glory hole?
    Because he received an anonymous tip.

    What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?
    Banned from of Seaworld.

More sick bastards jokes on the following pages...