Rude Jokes Galore - Unleashing the Naughty Side of Laughter.

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
A: Because they found out by dragging them by their legs that their hole would fill up with mud.

An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains. As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead p*ssy." The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole. 😆

If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?! 🥛 🥚

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. 🥪

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. 🍺

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave. 🌪

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..." 😎

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". ✈

What’s the difference between a masquito and a blonde girl.

One stops sucking when you smack it. 🦟

Why did the little girl’s ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♂️

my girl is so cute when she sleeps I watch her all the time……………….tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time

Girl: How do you feel about abortion?
Dad: Ask your sister
Girl: I don’t have a …😁

You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl. 🚲

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get stoned before they have sex.

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin. 😎

Yo mama’s so old when she was a girl rainbows were black and white 🔲

What’s the best part of dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus and all I could think to myself was, “Don’t get an erection, don’t get an erection”… But she did. 😎

Political correctness has reached the level of absurdity
For example, we can't say brown paint. Instead we should say "please paint that wall, Jose"