Great stress-buster with a naughty twist.
"I've learned that a well-timed dirty joke can bring people of all ages together."
- Will Ferrell
"I've never been one to shy away from a good dirty joke. Life's too short to be uptight all the time."
- Cameron Diaz
"Adult humor is like a fine wine - it gets better with age. And it definitely adds some spice to life."
- Halle Berry
Adult humor is like a roller coaster: it's thrilling, it's exciting, and it's not for everyone.
How much sex does a person who likes both men and women have?
Just enough to get Bi .
What happens to a bisexual when they can't find a partner?
They're on StandBi.
What does a bisexual porn star do at work?
Fuck all.
Every girl is bi .
You just gotta figure out if it's polar or sexual.
How NOT to start a speech at a sex toy convention...
"It is with great pleasure that I came here today..."
Adult humor: because sometimes being inappropriate is the only appropriate response.
Orgasms are important.
Otherwise people wouldn't know when to stop screwing eachother.
I had a threesome last night. A couple of no shows, but I still had a good time.
My buddy told me he was having sex with twins... I asked how do you tell them apart? He said, "Her brother has a mustache"
The cost of wood is going up, which means Viagra will be more expensive...
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.
Adult humor is like a tightrope: it's all fun and games until someone falls off and gets offended.
If having two sex partners is bigamy, and anything above that is polygamy, what is it called when having a single sex partner?
Monotony.
I would have been a stripper...
...but I just couldn't pull it off.
My sex life is terrible. My wife put a mirror over our bed.
- She says she likes to watch herself laugh!
The last time I was involved in sexual intercourse was when I was a sperm.
Just joined a fisting club, I'm not into fisting but want to widen the circle of my friends.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but with adult humor, you might need a prescription.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me.
Premature ejaculator seeks lady for short term fling.
Lady in question must have large breasts, full lips, a nice ass and... OH GOD... never mind...
I opened a club for premature ejaculators.
It didn't last long.
I went to the premature ejaculation support group and nobody was there.
Turns out I came too early.
I just told my new girlfriend that I suffer from premature ejaculation...Fair play to her though she took it on the chin.
Adult Jokes: Because maturity is overrated!
Woman: I need money to pay some bills.
Man: I'll give you $10,000 for sex the way I like it.
Woman: how do you like it?
Man: on credit.
I saw a ballet themed porn the other day.
It was 'Fucking en Pointe'.
I saw my first porn film last week.
I couldn’t believe how young I looked.
Having sex before going to work makes you feel like a manager.
I almost fired my boss today.
Sex for introverts is another opportunity to go inside.
Adult Jokes: Because growing up is optional.
"Mommy, can we humans suck the light?"
"Of course not, silly!"
"Then why daddy told my babysitter yesterday: "Turn the light off and suck it"?"
A young boy is bathing with his mother
Boy says, “Whats that hairy thing mom?”
Mom replies, “That is my sponge.”
“Oh yes,” says the boy, “The babysitters got one, I’ve seen her washing dads face with it.”
How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?
She swallowed.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant babysitter?
Can’t unscrew the babysitter.
A plumber is fixing some water pipes in the kitchen when suddenly the housewife comes in.
-Beware of my husband, he is gonna be home in an hour!
The plumber make eye contact with the lady in the kitchen door and asks.
-Why, I have done nothing inappropriate?
She quickly replies.
-That's why I'm telling you we still have an hour!
Adult Jokes: For those who never learned to censor themselves!
I pay my rent in sexual favors.
I try to stay on top but sometimes I end up behind.
How is an FBI interrogation like oral sex?
One slip of your tongue and you'll wind up in shit.
How does an FBI agent have sex
... FBI open up.
... We're coming in.
Why are Mafia members so good at sex?
Because they've always got a stiff in the trunk.
I'm having regular sex with a blind woman. The sex is great but it isn't easy getting her husband’s voice right.
Adult Jokes: Because humor doesn't have an expiration date!
Why don’t the EasterBunny make noise, during sex?…
Cotton balls.
I finally did it!
I got a role in a porn!
I'm the husband that goes to work...
Doctor: Thanks for waiting sir.
Patient: IT'S M'AAM!!!
Doctor: Ma'am, you have testicular cancer.
I started my new job in a salon today when a beautiful lady walked in.
She said, I'm undecided at the moment. What's the best style you can give to me.
Doggy, I replied.
Fcking in your 40’s.. can you moan on my left side, that’s my good ear.