Hilarious jokes about STRIPTEASE that will make your day !

Q:How are strippers like giants?
A:they both grind bones to make bread.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?
Strippers don't rig their polls.

4 friends meet 30 years after school. One goes to the toilet, while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says his son studied economics became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
No. 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said his son became an engineer started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.
No. 4 came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about. They told him they were talking about how successful their sons became and ask him about his son. He said his son is gay and is a stripper at a gay bar. Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.
Oh no, said the father, he is doing good. Last week was his birthday and he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends .

People who think their government cares about them probably think strippers love them too.

The people who think government cares about them are the same ones who believe the stripper loves them.

Every girl is a stripper if you wait outside of her window long enough.

What do you call a stripper who also works as a hooker who is known for squirting?
Krystal Geyser.

For my birthday my friends hired a stripper, he was rubbish..I got most of the paint off the doors myself.

Strippers are really bad investors. You know why….they tend to lose their shirts.

If you're withdrawing money from an ATM at one am, it's NOT going to charity

If you're withdrawing money from an ATM at one am, for charity, that's the stripper's name.

I met a stripper with really nice Gucci clothes
Then I found out it was a ripoff.

Did you hear about the male escort who keeps killing his clients?
They call him Jack the Stripper.

If I were a stripper I would be called bacon.
Because bacon strips.

The stripper made her son lunch for school today.
It was hoe made.

Where does Santa's stripper mom work?
The North Pole.

Why should you never fight Destiny?
Because then you will have to fight the bouncers, and every other stripper in the club.

My credit card is like a stripper.
There isn't much on it.

What's the best part of a bulimic birthday party?
...When the cake jumps out of the stripper.

I got kicked out of a titty club.
The stripper started yelling at me for using fake money, so I yelled at her for using fake titties.

What's the difference between a waitress at a strip club and a stripper?
About 2 weeks.

Why did the stripper need more insurance?
She had little to no coverage.

A man walks into a bar and sees a plus sized stripper dancing on a table..
He tells her, "Nice legs!"
"Wow, you really think so?"
"Definitely," he replies, "most tables would have collapsed for sure."

My friend is a male stripper. He hates his job and wants to quit, but the pay is too good.
So he decided to stick it out for a little longer.

I bought my wife a stripper pole for our anniversary and installed it in our bedroom.
Whenever I ask her if she likes it, she just dances around the subject.

The average stripper weighs 112lbs.
According to one pole.

I once met a dyslexic stripper
named Density.

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?
Strippers don't rig their polls.

Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a strip club
Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra.

I stole a stripper's kid.
It was like taking baby from a Candi.

How many dead strippers does it take to change a light bulb ?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.

I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn’t have that much breast milk.

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It is cheap fast, and if the rubber breaks, your pretty much screwed.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.

My wife told me she wanted the body of a stripper.
But she screamed when I brought her one.

Being a stripper is like working at McDonald's....
Covered in oil and questioning your choices after high school.

Q:How are strippers like giants?
A:they both grind bones to make bread.

Möbius strippers...
never show their backside.

How much does a midget stripper with three kids get paid?
Mini-mom wage.

I would have been a stripper...
...but I just couldn't pull it off.

My gf started to do a striptease just for me. She asked me what should go out first.

Apparently "The light" was not the correct answer.

I hate strip clubs. I had a bad experience in one once.

Got taken to one for my birthday this one time. As the strippers did their thing, I quickly ran completely out of bills. Thought I saw a place to swipe my credit card though ...

You wouldn't believe the commotion when I tried it.

Full disclosure: My late father worked on and off as a stripper. He also did refinishing and other carpentry work.

You cannot fight destiny because if you try to fight destiny, you will also have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers, too.

Prince Harry’s bachelor party had to be pretty awkward.
He was putting pictures of his grandma in a strippers G string.

Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers.
Most strippers have little or no coverage.

I started dating a stripper
I've been seeing a lot of her lately.

John works hard and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she blindfold him and takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, John! How ya doin?"
Once inside his wife removes the blindfold but she's puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says John. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks John if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the first nine, honey.
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around John, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Johnny. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
John's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. John follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
John tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him or someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every four letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, "Geez John, you picked up a real bitch this time."

Strippers don’t have ACs in their homes.
Only fans..

I recently got a job as a stripper. You could say my career is taking off.

If strippers are called exotic dancers then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists.

4 friends meet 30 years after school. One goes to the toilet, while the other 3 start to talk about how successful their sons became.
No. 1 says his son studied economics became a banker and is so rich he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
No. 2 said his son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so rich he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said his son became an engineer started his own development company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.
No. 4 came back from toilet and asks what the buzz is about. They told him they were talking about how successful their sons became and ask him about his son. He said his son is gay and is a stripper at a gay bar. Other 3 said he must be very disappointed with his son for not becoming successful.
Oh no, said the father, he is doing good. Last week was his birthday and he got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from 3 of his boyfriends .