Pussy Jokes: poking fun at the naughty hole.

"So, I guess you've never been with a prostitute before then." She said.

I replied "Well, No, but how can you tell?"

She said "Look, don't worry about it, just take the coins out my vagina and we'll start again."

Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!

My girlfriend's vagina smells like Lillie's ....

But, Lillie's is tighter...

I watched "The Vagina Monologues" on mute but I still understood the plot

I can read lips.

I’d call her a cunt, but she lacks the depth and warmth.

I’ve always been an outsider. The only thing worth being inside is a pussy.

What's a vagina's favorite music genre?

Cuntry.

What's the difference between weed and a vagina?

If you can smell the weed from across the room, you know it's good.

Doing the crossword.
"What's a 4 letter word for a female relative ending in _unt?"
Wife. "Aunt?"
Me " Pass the Tippex."

How do you turn a pussy into an asshole?

Give him a badge.

Some guys pay to see the pussy when they can look in the mirror for free.

How do you turn a pussy into a fearless warrior?
Give her a keyboard.

What do you call ladyparts made from sugar, butter and chocolate?
A Fudgina.

Vaginas are like gyms....
I'm rarely inside one, but when I am, I sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope nobody notices.

There’s no “I” in team but there is a “U” in cunt.

What do pussies and Burger King have in common?
It’s generally frowned upon to eat them in the middle of a McDonald’s.

A woman’s vagina is like Disneyland…
It may be the happiest place on earth, but the older you get it the less it is worth the time, expense, aggravation, and hassle.

Do you ever wonder if a camel looks at its toe and thinks "Damn! I have vagina foot!"

What's similar between The Mafia and a Pussy..?
...I haven't been in either.

What does the mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

What does the pussy and mafia have in common?
it's a lot more fun if you're on the inside .

The pussy is never yours, it's just your turn.

What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbours pussy instead.

Vaginas are like gyms.

I'm rarely inside one, but when I am I just sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope no one notices I don't.

My husband is so bad at eating pussy - it’s oral punishment.

FUN Fact:
Horses 'wink' with their vaginas when they are horny.

I named your vagina "Astrophysics" because I don't get it.

A woman goes to the doctor and says, "I'm worried about some discharge - I think I'm getting too much." The doctor says, "Hop up on the examining table and remove your pants." He puts on his latex gloves and shoves 3 fingers in her vagina and asks, "How does that feel?" She replies, That's lovely, but the discharge is in my ear."

Tight pussy is for little boys, real men live in tunnels, caves and boreholes.

Old pussy is better than no pussy.

Is pussylips one word? Or should I spread them apart?

What do vagina lips says to each other ?
"We used to be tight"

A mother in law said too her sons wife " I don't mean to be rude but the baby doesn't look like my son " The wife then lifted up her skirt and said " I don't mean to be rude either but it's a Fanny not a photocopier"

Just received a parcel from Holland this morning !
I opened it and there was a rubber Fanny inside !!
I Thought ' That's nice , Two lips from Amsterdam !!'

Q. How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A. By becoming a ventriloquist!

McVities have just bought out a new biscuit range, 'Clitoris-Creams'.
They carry a guarantee. "One lick and you'll want to eat the box"

You know when you get that urge to eat something just because it's there !!??!!
Well that's how I lost my job as a gynaecologist !!

What do you call
a female peacock ...

A peacunt .

Top 10 reasons to eat pussy :
👅👅👅
#10 If pussy wasn't meant to be kissed they wouldn't have lips.
#9 Keeps your lips moist, you'll save a fortune on ChapStick.
#8 The best cure for a dry mouth is a wet pussy.
#7 It's Vegan friendly if you are into that sort of thing.
#6 The taste.
#5 He who does not suck the clit does not get to hit. Coochiticus.
#4 She is more than likely return the favor( if you do it right).
#3 The taste (it's worth saying twice).
#2 The way she moans when you're sucking out her soul.
#1 It's Pussy duh! Eat up like a bigboy.

- what did one vagina lip say to the other?
- "we used to be so tight until we let some dick cum between us"