Fat Jokes: Making light of the heavy stuff.

What do we want?
A cure for obesity!
When do we want it?
After cake!!!!

I don’t understand why I can't lose weight.

I thought dieting was a piece of cake.

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I'm not an actor.

Latest diet failed again!
Now going to concentrate on getting taller.

Why dud the dietician send her clients to the paint store?
You could get thinner there.

When you're a child, it makes you feel proud when someone says "Wow! You've gotten so big since the last time I saw you!" ....
As an adult, not so much.

Today on the news.
Gym caught on fire.
I guess it burn alot of calories.

I hate it when I gain 15 pounds for a role, only to realize I'm not even an actor.

Dr : you need to stop eating fatty .
Me : you mean like junk , sugary , oily food .
Dr: no fatty , you need to stop eating.

Sometimes it's hard to tell if I'm hungry or bored.

I put the scales in the bathroom corner and that's where she will stay until the little liar apologies.

How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise whenever offered food!

I don't go swimming because it's never been 30 minutes after the last time I ate.

I would like to lose weight but I hate losing.

Finally my winter fat has gone...

Now, I have spring rolls.

Whoever sneaked the 's' in "fast food" was a real clever man!!

I got a new high score today... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale.

Just bought two donuts without sprinkles... Diets are hard!

I was on a weight loss website and it asked me if I accept cookies.

Is this a test?🤔

You have so much inner beauty it's causing swelling.

Im not saying my ex girlfriend was fat...
But all my thoughts revolve around her.

Your British momma is so fat...
people think she is an American.

Yo mama so fat...
...She been butt dialing people since the days of rotary phones!

Your momma's so fat...
... no one can socially distance her.

Years ago I used to work at the circus and we had some wonderful acts I remember the fat tattooed lady..
Now they're fucking everywhere...

In which city do fat people stay?
Obesity.

What did the infomercial actor say after realizing he was getting fat?
Butt weight, there's more!

I’ve got plenty of fat friends.
Well, only 2 but it seems like more.

The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why"

You shouldn't fat shame people.
But to be truthful, they won't come running after you.

I'm not fat!
I'm just height-challenged.

The fat acceptance movement is the only movement
Without movement.

Your mama's so fat...
...they call her missionary impossible.

What do you call a fat person in Europe?
An American tourist.

How do you get a fat person into bed?
Piece of cake.

How do you make a few lbs of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

People be like I am fat because my mother cooks good food...
...I am like I am single because I have strong hands.

How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?
She starts fitting into your wife’s clothes.

Not saying my Ex was fat.
But it took a year for my memory foam mattress to forget her.

I walked in a pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on the table
I said:nice legs
And she said:You really think so?
I said: Yes, other tables would have collapsed by now.