Great stress-buster with a naughty twist.
"I've learned that a well-timed dirty joke can bring people of all ages together."
- Will Ferrell
"I've never been one to shy away from a good dirty joke. Life's too short to be uptight all the time."
- Cameron Diaz
"Adult humor is like a fine wine - it gets better with age. And it definitely adds some spice to life."
- Halle Berry
Weird never felt so funny.
- Updated:
2024-12-21.
Adult humor is like a roller coaster: it's thrilling, it's exciting, and it's not for everyone.
Adult humor: because sometimes being inappropriate is the only appropriate response.
Adult humor is like a tightrope: it's all fun and games until someone falls off and gets offended.
They say laughter is the best medicine, but with adult humor, you might need a prescription.
Adult Jokes: Because maturity is overrated!
Adult Jokes: Because growing up is optional.
Adult Jokes: For those who never learned to censor themselves!
Adult Jokes: Because humor doesn't have an expiration date!
I had sex once and once was enough.
Wait, where did those 3 kids come from?
Kinda sexy how you put the cuffs on me. Will I need a safe word?
Cop: the fuck is wrong with you.
FUN Fact:
There is a town in Canada called Dildo.
It's been so long since I've had sex, I forget who's supposed to get tied up.
The woman complained her husband doesn't spoon her anymore . He just forks her.
Explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my Arse , - My wife screamed. You explain to me -
I yelled back - Why you didn't wake up when I put it there.
I’m not a morning person unless you want morning sex.
I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled...
Sex over 40 can be exciting
You never know whether it's an orgasm, a stroke or just a cramp.
I hate strip clubs. I had a bad experience in one once.
Got taken to one for my birthday this one time. As the strippers did their thing, I quickly ran completely out of bills. Thought I saw a place to swipe my credit card though ...
You wouldn't believe the commotion when I tried it.
[Sex Shop]
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
Ladies.
When it comes to Doggy-Style, I'm behind you 100%.
A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island.
The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger.
The three start to build a watchtower.
The stranger offers to take first watch.
While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!"
The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!"
Later, the stranger yells out to them again.
Again, the husband yells back and corrects him.
This happens several times during the stranger's shift.
Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower.
His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach.
The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
Orgasms are important.
Otherwise people wouldn't know when to stop screwing eachother.
I was invited to the Premature Ejaculation Society’s Dinner. I asked what the dress code was and told to just come in my pants.
Bad sex is like bad pizza or bad beer...if you can actually finish it, it's not THAT bad.
Maturing is realizing her vibrator is your team mate, not your enemy.
I started my new job in a saloon today when a beautiful lady walked in.
She said I'm undecided at the moment. What's the best style you can give to me
Doggy I replied.
Married sex is like laundry and I’m not doing either this week.
FUN Fact:
It's illegal to own 6 or more dildos in Texas.
My Viagra addiction…
Was the hardest time of my life.
Nobody does the edgy sex goddess act better than bored housewives on the internet.
I'm organising an erectile dysfunction party...let me know if you can't come.
Having sex when your old is like trying to save money in a bank. You put it in, you take it out. Pretty soon you lose interest.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.
Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
Hey boy, are you a screen door?
Because I can’t stop thinking about banging you.
My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.
2 Things Comes In Ladies Mind When Visiting A Man For The First Time
*I Won't Open My Legs For Him
*Let Me Shave Just Incase
What does a robot do after sex?
He nuts and bolts.
I used to have a girlfriend whose safe word during sex was "flower," but she kept saying "flour."
Ask the butcher if he had sheep's head. He said it was just the way he combed his hair.
Good sex is essential for a happy marriage but a marriage isn't essential for good sex.
I've blocked everyone I want to sleep with.
If you can read this, it's never gonna happen.
If you haven’t had sex in a long time, that’s called mourning wood.
I'd talk to my wife more during sex if I were better at dialing the phone with one hand.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Stove Top stuffing does NOT mean sex in the kitchen. I know that now.
My wife wants me to slap her arse when we have sex.
She said it will stop her falling asleep!
*Sexting over walkie talkies*
“Hell yeah baby bend over.”
“Bend what? Over.”
I didn't know what a glory hole was. Now I regret looking into it.