NSFW Jokes: Embrace the Irreverent and Unapologetic Side of Humor.

I lost my virginity just to make my dog happy...

I'm not always the cunt.
Sometimes I'm asleep.

Every girl is a stripper if you wait outside of her window long enough.

all sex is casual sex if ur not wearing a bow tie.

My ass looks the best when I walk away

-me flirting

I strongly believe that women hide their clit on purpose just to blame men for not finding it!

I juss wanna get rich the same way y'all get pregnant:

fast & unplanned.

My safe word is "meatloaf," because I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting

He said this is his home security camera.

Momma said i can become anything,

So i became a fucking problem.

Why do Irishmen wear two condoms?
.
.
.
To be sure, to be sure! 😛

Giving advice to an idiot is very much like gifting dildo to a girl...

You know they need it but they will throw it in your face and call you a weirdo instead.

Eat pussy, it's 100% organic.

STOP calling people broke for not having stuff you slept with that old man for .

What's the opposite of "young, dumb, and full of cum"?

"Old, smart, and can't trust a fart".

I watched a video on how to improve my foreplay

It wasn't too bad once I skipped past the boring part at the beginning.

I have a bird fetish.

I can scarcely contain my libido when​ I look at chicks.

Morning blow jobs .

Because it’s faster than making a protein smoothie.

My wife was telling me about an innuendo contest…

So I entered her!

Prostate exams may be uncomfortable but my dentist still insists I get them.

I have a HEALTHY porn addiction.

By healthy..... I mean, it's my #1 source of exercise.

I haven’t had sex in so long my foreskin is starting to grow back .

Husband was screwing his secretary up the ass when his wife walked in

Wife: (sobbing) You can't do this to me!

Husband: I know that's why I am doing it with her!

What’s the difference between Disney+ and porn hub?

Disney + wants you to hate your stepmother.

When she says "don't come in me" but you know she'll make a great single mother.

Q: What's 12 inchs long and snaps a cunt?

A: Your selfie stick.

I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me because she calls me her sixty second lover.

I sexually identify as a microwave meal! I’m ready in 3 minutes and look nothing like my pictures!

I'm going to start a vibrator repair service, and call it...

Inspect Her Gadget...

What word begins with the letter "F" and ends in "UCK"?

Firetruck.

My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'fuck.'

What the make love is she talking about?

Sex WITHOUT A CONDOM IS SO MAGICAL . A BABY Appears & The Father Disappears.

She told me she wanted 8 inches so I had to give it to her twice.

The opposite of BDSM is BDHM

Baby, don't hurt me

Today i saw a bunch of priests gang-banging

Holy Fuck!

"Excuse me," I said to the girl sat in front of me on the bus.

"You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

"I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yogurt."

"It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yogurt."

Research suggests that 10% of men pay for sex

The other 90% just don't realize that they pay for sex.

Just found out today that I'm allergic to Viagra.

It makes me swell up.

ADULTING is learning spitting in yo partners mouth is APART OF SEX .

I hate when girls try to kiss me during sèx.
i got a girlfriend. Chill.